Thursday, January 21, 2016

How I Stopped Caring About Women to Care About Them

(UPDATE 7/2019: Sitting here, re-reading this post, I understand that the word I wanted to use was altruism. That was the meaning I had in my head when typing truth.  Altruism, not truth as in The Truth, divine truth, which I live my life from.  So as you read this, keep that in mind altruism (or a grammatical variation of it), even in the image.  Thank you. xo
In The 2 Middle Fingers I Get To Put Up: Honor to The 5 Deaths of 2015, I mentioned that the fifth death prepared me to share a perspective on how to support women in their endeavors.

When it comes to the matter of separation due to the penalty of expressing oneself, after believing they were in a safe place to do so, that reality can become a hard pill to swallow. Once swallowed, digested, and passed through, the healing reveals all that you need to see clearly. One day, my healing revealed that I wasn't upset about the actual disengagement, because people leave and detachment isn't something I fear - it was the fact that I made her a priority. Sitting with the question, "Do you regret that?" I lived in my positive truth during the duration of that friendship. So, no regrets on that. None. It just will not happen again and not because of a spiteful spirit, but because I just don't care....

Do I still stand on the platform that women need each other? Absolutely! But here's the lesson that came from my death experience - you cannot make someone a priority who does not want to be one. You cannot move forward with women who do not want to be needed. Not needed in the sense of needy. Needed in the way of knowing their worth and value, and mutually seeing worth and value in other women to do what is right by them. This type of woman does not circumvent, holds herself accountable, and admits bad decisions. This woman is not perfect, but if you are a discerning woman yourself, one who can show mercy when needed, you both can move forward together. But she has to want to be needed. 

It is one of the best feelings and sense of fulfillment when a woman starts on an enterprising journey. One of the very first actions is showing support towards other women entrepreneurs. And why not? Collaboration is a beautiful thing, supporting women in their endeavors is a beautiful thing. Oftentimes, support is given to gain support. Not a bad deed, but, a person who is just giving support to get it back in return, needs to reaccess. However sincere support does not need to be forced and a woman entrepreneur who wants to be needed will take notice of the sincerity and reciprocate accordingly. If you operate from a place of truthful support, an unproductive collaboration with a woman entrepreneur should not taint (although it sucks) your give to another woman entrepreneur who sees your value. 

I stopped caring about "helping" women. I no longer seek them out to see what needs need fulfilling.  Instead, I care for them by standing in my truth: Being there when they come with a need. Assist and done; Sending information to resources that could be helpful in their endeavor. If they use it great, if they don't...; Maintaining consistency in my business, so that a women who wants to be needed will see her reflection. 

You do not have to CARE to care. 

Your Turn:
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Be Whole,