Thursday, December 15, 2011

have you made IT? :: i'll never let them do IT to me again!

Have you made IT?  I'm not speaking about the ching-ching-bling-bling IT.  I'm coming from the stand point of: self evolving-responding vs reacting-taking responsibility of direct behavior towards you IT.  ????

presenting (instead of being present):
'If I was (insert name of well known company here) people would buy from me more.' 'Man, people only buy from you if you had a celebrity biggin' up your stuff (grrrr).' 'Oh, see, at first they were buying from me, saying how my product was all-that, now they acting funny, not buying from me anymore (suck teeth).'


reacting (instead of responding):
'Why people always trying to get a hook-up?  If I was (insert name of well known company here), they wouldn't be treating me this way.' 'Why do I keep seeing people stealing pictures of my work?  I post my work, then I see it on someone else's website or social page!  Why do they keep doing this?!'


(The above have been read on my timeline and news feed on social networks.)

personal testimonial:
Years ago I met a couple--I was invited into their home.  The wife mentioned to the husband about me having a business.  'You got any samples with you?'  Yes!  That was the first thing that came out of his mouth.  He said it like he was the bourgeois and I was the hoi polloi .  LOL.  Yes, I can laugh about that now.  Actually, I chuckled (inside) back then.  I could've broke the hustle down to him.  But what would be the use (Don't get me wrong, there are times when people need correcting.  You got to know when that time is--that wasn't the time.  Wisdom.)  That moment wasn't about him, it was about me.  What was it about me, that he felt he had the audacity to ask that question, before getting to know more about the business?  Yes, me.  It may not have been me, but it was important to my growth and business growth that I figure it out.  Responding vs Reacting.

Responding isn't always about responding to an individual.  It's about responding to yourself: asking the right questions, accepting the hardcore truth about self, acknowledging your responsibility in what you attract/other's behavior.

my response:
On my drive home that day, I told myself that would never happen again.  I needed to establish myself and my business in a way that "hand-out & hook-up" wasn't written on me.  I'm not against sending complimentary items for another entrepreneur's event.  No qualms here. I started to be present in all that I did for my business--to help others to see that I meant business;I directed all those seeking free products to my Samples category online;I made my list: Women Entrepreneurs That I Will Give To.  That list consist of women entrepreneurs that I would not think twice about sending them a complimentary item for an event, because they have genuinely established a relationship with me.  Today, I receive orders for gift bag items (Funny thing is some of those orders come from women on my list.  I would do it for them anyway, but they don't take advantage.  Respect.)!  I made IT! And if you're wondering about that couple.... they became great customers, even without the husband getting the samples. *Wink* Not immediately, but over time, after observing me and the growth of my business.

When you willing evolve, when you check yourself to see if another's behavior is due to how you are operating, when you make the neccessary corrections in your work-life (a term I love from you made IT, and no one can do IT to you again.  No one can do what you won't allow them to do.  You don't have to be anyone else to get more business sent your way.  You don't need to "cry" over what others are doing to "mess" your business up--handle the business and implement or make the changes.  More success comes when you become the success.


My desire is to inspire women in business, to aspire to be the best that they can, in all aspects of their lives. 


  1. See, this is why I'm a Smell Goods '98 fan! Big chunks of real talk, drum beats of wisdom, and a heart-felt reminder about why it's critical that we stand in our value!! Thank you for that!

    I am STILL doing the work around making sure that "hook up" isn't written all over my face. I can only barter so much, and I can only show up to give my gifts at people's events so many times before the blame is on ME, not them.

    It's definitely all about taking responsibility, and reacting to the internal noise before lashing out at the external reflections of that noise.

    Mi love da post ya baddd!!!

  2. You know I'm feeling this I! I am guilty of the "If if was (insert business name) people wouldn't be emailing asking where their package is (after 3 days) or can they get a discount, or can I drop IT off when I'm in their area, etc. Lol! Everyday is a learning experience and I take each day as a chance to grow in business and re-do things differently. I'm growing stronger thanks to posts like this, women like you and WIS-DUUUUUUUM! ;)


  3. Excellent Article! This makes me look at how I operate my business and I am still learning and growing as my business expands. When I stopped giving "Hook Up", I notice people accept standards and fell in line. You're right, people can only do to you what you allow them!!! Thanks for this!!

  4. Thank you all for sharing your personal growth in your business.

    @Myisha-LOL, I got you on that. The way I started to RESPOND to those types of behavior, was by inserting policies/terms&conditions throughout my online store. Unfortunately, most shoppers who shop small businesses have a tendency to think that they are doing small businesses a favor. Therefore, you will give me a discount, you will meet me somewhere, I can constantly email you about my order. Unlike big business, they know small business owners are at-hand. Albeit true that small business owners can and do interact more with shoppers, they are still operating a business. It is up to small business owners to convey that declaration.

    Just like @vfflan36815 posted, people fall in line, when standards are consistently set.

    Here's to IT!


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